Какой форум без юмора? Давайте постить в эту тему свои любимые анекдоты и приколы

Идея просто супер!

Единственная просьба - размещайте здесь свои самые, самые, пресамые любимые анекдот, шутку или выражение.

Так хочется чтобы наш форум был качественным

Telephone Joke:
"Hello, this is your local Zoo speaking. Do you like animals? We are experiencing severe problems with hot water. Would you be so kind a
s to allow us to bring our elephants over to your bathroom for a shower?"

The most common response: "Well, sure, but my neighbour's bathroom is bigger and better equipped to handle elephants

Ä tobacco-company executive traveled the country to find long-time smokers who were in good health.

He found one man who had smoked a pack a day for the last 30 days.
If you do a commercial for us telling everyone how strong and healthy you are, we’ll pay you $ 20,000.

“The smoker gladly agreed and asked when they’d do the filming.
The executive told him to be ready at 10 a.m. next morning.

Disappointed, the smoker shook his head
“Sorry, I can’t do it then – I don’t stop coughing until noon.

Кстати, можете постить переведенные собственными силами русские анекдоты.

- I’ve invented a computer that is almost human.
- How is that?
- When it makes a mistake it blames another computer.

*******


“The policeman rang the doorbell, not knowing how he was going to break the news. The door opened and a woman stood there gazing anxiously into the policeman’s eyes. I’m sorry to tell you this, but your husband’s new watch is broken. ”Broken?” she said. “How did it happen?” The policeman replied, “Ä piano fell on him”.

"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?"

A lady hired an artist to paint her portrait.
“Will it be pretty?” she asked
“Of course”, said the artist. “You won’t know yourself”.